Adoption: A Solution or a Band-Aid?

Adoption is a good solution for a child without a family. Or is it? Consider the idea that a childless person or persons want to have a family. Adoption is an option. Consider that a child is in need of a home because of circumstances that left him or her without a family. Adoption sounds like the perfect solution. The following article offers perspectives that are often overlooked, not considered, or denied.Adoption appears the perfect solution for either scenario. As the ideal answer for a childless person or a homeless child, adoption offers:1) A ready-made family for the person or couple who have infertility or who don’t choose sperm donation or surrogacy. Adoption solutions often surface when exhaustive efforts to procreate result in infertility. People who choose a single lifestyle or homosexual lifestyle and don’t want to use sperm banks or surrogacy may turn to adoption. Adoption, through advertising, provides a reasonable and viable option for creating a family. Meeting the need of the infertile family and meeting the need of a child; a match made in Heaven.2) A ready-made family for the child whose original family has neglected, abandoned, or rejected him or her and living in foster care. Children who were removed from their original families, find placement within foster care with the goal of an eventual permanent family placement. A permanent adoption placement sounds like the best solution.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
3) A ready-made family option for the child whose parents have had rights relinquished. A young, teenage, unmarried mom or a birth mother who has children and believes the finances are unavailable to support another child may consider adoption as a perfect plan to an unplanned pregnancy. Adoption comes to play as the solution to meet the needs of the birth mother and the child.The reasons listed above are good reasons for an adoption plan. Are they really? Looking a little deeper into the adoption plan may show a darker side of adoption that rarely gets presented when these scenarios surface. The above circumstances frequently trigger the adoption solution. Unfortunately, the following information isn’t revealed but would lend legitimacy to an adoption plan.1) Infertility issues set the stage for a “child replacement” adoption. When a person or couple use adoption to replace a child because infertility leaves them childless or because the chosen lifestyle denies the option of procreating their own DNA, the adoption is no longer about the “child’s best interest.” The foundational motivation clearly speaks of meeting the needs of the adoptive person(s). The argument that an adoption plan meets the needs of the adoptive parent and the needs of the child is deceptive. Using a child for replacement is not a perfect match for the child.2) The abused, abandoned, foster care child gets a new family. Research reveals that children coming from these scenarios have significant needs which do not necessarily resolve because they are now living in a new family. The universal platitude of “love is enough” quickly fades and becomes a universal falsehood. Love doesn’t cover the hours of patience, therapy, and reflecting on whether the adoption was a good idea. These children typically challenge their families with behaviors that, sadly, cause some families to give up and give them back to the adopting agency.3) A birth mother or original family member(s) may “voluntarily” relinquish their rights because they have decided raising a child may prove too much to handle. Adoption appeals to them as a solution for everyone involved. This solution may seem in the child’s best interest. In fact, it is in the birth mother’s best interest. The fact remains that a child raised in a family not biologically related to him or her makes the child different. The fact is that the circumstances that seem too much right now will change. The best possible solution is to get the necessary education to understand a better option than adoption. The better options and the better education will not come from an adoption agency or any group funded by adoption fees. Look for independent educational entities to give objective information that truly reflect the best interests of the child.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
Does adoption offer a solution or a band aid? This article superficially touched on aspects of adoption that rarely surface in entities that broker adoptions. Adoption is life long and becomes a relationship created and entered into lightly based upon information offered by “experts” with a vested monetary interest. Decisions made for infants and minor children happen in a vacuum for them. The child has no voice and once adopted never does. Statutes and laws are in place to keep adopted children, voiceless and minors for the rest of their lives. Is adoption a solution or a band-aid?This author welcomes your comments about adoption as a solution or a band-aid.